Ghosts of the Past #love

My sister and I walk the streets of our town talking about Tyler Henry and ghosts. Decades removed from our atheist childhood, we are now bonded by belief. We find ourselves haunted by the absence of our grandmother nearly three years passed. Confused and perhaps a bit letdown that she has not returned to talk with us again, we trade our theories and inevitably kick up the past along the way.

It is here that I find myself being led to the shadow self, Carl Jung, and the tether of the umbilicus. We talk about the struggle to cut the cord that draws life from the mother into the child and how the stories too long held become trapped inside until they churn like a storm. And so we reminder ourselves that sometimes the only path forward is a severed one.

How foolish of us to pretend we are fully freed of the cord that binds. For a reminder awaits me in my mailbox. Threads stitched by the mother-hand sent to my daughter. Bypassing me, but not really. The refusal to fully release tugs away at frustration; an endless loop that looks for reason. We cannot control what we cannot change.

Yet, sometimes peace finds us in unexpected places. Here I am, a day later, sitting in a darkened room, waiting while my eyes adjust to forced dilation. The room is warm and quiet. A machine hums white noise, infusing the space around me with a soft peace. So content, I find myself melting into that state between waking and sleep. And in this liminal space where we are reminded of infinity, I welcome my absent grandmother to join me. In no time she is beside my right shoulder. My grandfather on my left.

There is no need for surprise, or resistance. After all, love is patient. Instead of forcing an invitation, it waits, ever ready for the opening.

Drawing the Enneagram #esotericpoetry #enneagram #spiritualpoetry

I wrote this poem rather quickly, in one sitting, letting the words flow through onto the screen as I typed. I have been in a bit of a writer’s rut these days, and I thank Sue Vincent  for nominating me for a daily poetry writing challenge on Facebook. This has stirred the latent creativity back to life, somewhat, and I am grateful for that.  I’m sharing this one, today’s, because it is metaphysically inspired.

Drawing the Enneagram

After I finish my third

I want to add colors to the distorted

shapes I’ve created, thinking about fear

She told me it shatters the spectrum

of the body, lodges

light behind shadows

to find a home inside darkness

I have found splinters

in unexpected places

The child who slipped

into the pool of joy

for a moment and forgot

about the well in the forest

is living in my lower breast

below the plate of armor

in a sliver of blue truth

Shall I place her in the middle

and spread the rainbow

around her? He never built her

the swing-set, it still festers

in the gray matter of my mind

with conditional love

 4 cuts a path to 1, bisecting 9

and 8 to get to 7. My eye lingers

in the space between 5 and 6

even though I wore the number

13 last night in my dreams

on a magenta shirt. My other father

wanted me to change its design

but didn’t want to pay the cost it would take

Typical

So I refused, and the shark

in the water became a hippo

leading me to land, where I ran

until I looked back and laughed

myself awake

My Enneagram
My Enneagram with a Sliver of Blue