The truth is. I would probably have done it anyway. In fact, I know I would have. I’d do it again, only this time, I’d assert my self-worth upfront. She called on a Saturday night, while I was watching The Hobbit with my family. When I picked up the phone, she launched into a hurried, some-what desperate speech about why she really needed energy healing, not later, but now. So I relented.
You might say I’m a sucker, and perhaps I am. The truth is, I love helping others. I love energy work. In an instant I am transported with another person into that pure space of Divine Love. There is nothing quite like it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always easy. I feel the other person’s energy in my own body until it is cleared, and that means a bit of discomfort and unease at times. But, it’s always worth it.
It was worth it that Saturday, even though, looking back, I had that inkling of a feeling when I first picked up the phone that she’d never pay. It grew to a near warning by the time I’d hung up over an hour later, but I was still riding the waves of light. I think she was too. I think, perhaps for that hour or so, she had an intention of possibly paying for the services I’d rendered, but then decided not to.
The next morning, after the light had waned inside of me, I began to feel my ego again and its persistent voice of fear. You were had. It told me. You did that for nothing. Have you learned your lesson?
Now, days later, I am still grappling with the ego. It was, I know, a lesson in assertiveness. A lesson in self-worth. A lesson I still needed to learn. Whether she knows it or not, the woman who called me on a Saturday night, gave me a gift. She showed me what fears still lurk inside of me, and what I still need to over-come. She taught me that sometimes the trust needs to come from within, and not without.
Will I do it again? Yes, and no. I will continue to help those in need of healing, as I have before, even if they cannot pay for my services. I will not, I hope though, be “had” again. It leaves an unpleasant aftertaste in the heart, and, frankly, I’m worth more than that.
The Light Behind the Story 
“You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you’ll win, no matter what the outcome.” Patch Adams-Robbin Williams movie
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Thank you, Lori 🙂
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Again, Alethea, this has hit home for me. Over the weekend a series of events happened that brought about fear, trust, hurt and my ego stepping in. I could not find any peace with the situation and got very little sleep because I let all of these feeling take over. I did my Ascended Master cards and these are the cards that I got; Find the Blessing in Your Current Situation, Peace Offering and Crystals, the second day, Crystals, Find the Blessing in Your Current Situation and Detach from Drama. I also found that that once I was able to identify the lesson I needed to learn I was able to find that peace in the situation. Trust does come from within.
You are a very giving and kind person and in no way a “sucker”. You give from your heart and that is such a beautiful gift! You will get back ten fold what you give to others! And don’t forget, karma is a bitch…hehe! ox
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Thank you, Linda for sharing your story and for you kind words. xo
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I know the dilemma I often give friends reiki for free. But am feeling I should charge now as my financial situation if not that= of a bank. But I love to help friend and spread the energy, it’s always tricky!
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I think there always needs to be a balance of sorts. So if you’re feeling unbalanced in what you give, then perhaps it’s time to charge even your friends.
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I really liked reading your thoughts/feelings in this posting. I could relate to the sense of processing that you ended up completing. It is always a balancing act, isn’t it? And I loved how you saw this as an opportunity to learn. I feel that is where our power always lays- in our willingness to learn from the event.
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Thank you, Kimberly. Yes, the Universe certainly puts people and events in our paths for us to learn and grow 🙂
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