“I Will Send You Birds” #lifeafterdeath #signsfromspirit

A robin nesting in a lilac outside my window. I did not take photos of the robins two days ago. I just watched them in wonder, flying and gathering on the holly bush outside my window. Too many to count.

There were many moments after Sue Vincent passed away when I allowed myself to slip into the agony of the mundane. You might think agony is a strong word to use for the mundane, but let me try to explain why I chose this descriptor.

I believe we are birthed opening our eyes to wonder. We leave the vast infinite expanse of connection to experience individuality, but with the hope of holding onto the magic of being. We are not simply cells collected into a body to experience a finite existence, we are being itself. The most basic laws of physics tell us that our energy cannot be destroyed, yet how often do we allow ourselves to slip into the agony of the mundane doubting the magic of our infinite existence?

There are many things that remind me of this slip. Facebook’s algorithm pops up old photos and quotes from the years when I was wrapped in the magic of wonder. Blog posts reappear on my sidebar reminding me that the magic of life I recorded received more likes than the agony of the mundane. And, most importantly, the constriction of the cells within my body remind me that I am a body of wonder waiting to be expressed, again. Over and over again.

This is life.

Sue was, in many ways, a gateway to wonder for me. We met through wonder. I dreamt of the cosmic eye, and then she appeared. Soon after, I saw a vision of a hexagram, and it was Sue who nudged the opening of its magic. Sue came into my life at just the right moment. I needed a teacher and a guide to help me open to the labyrinth of light that threads through life, and together we traveled through time to find that connection. Sue was, literally, a gateway to magic. And when she passed, I mourned her with a fierceness I had not expected. I didn’t want to let that magic go.

And, of course, I didn’t have to. 

When I was working on the first chapters of Keys to the Heart I sent a passage to Sue for her input. The only thing she suggested I change was the use of the phrase, “of course.” I heeded her advice and erased the phrase each time I had used it, and made sure I omitted the impulse when it arose as I continued to write the book after her passing. With one exception, the dedication page.

“For Sue, of course.”

I can see her smiling. I can see that wrap of feathers she wore lifted into wings. I can see the wren, and the owl. The raven and the kite. And, two days ago, when I revealed the cover of my new book, I saw robins. Dozens of them. The most I have ever seen gathered together. In the middle of January. Outside my window. All day. Robins. The bird of birth and spring. It could not have been more fitting.

“I will send you birds.”

After Sue passed, and I began to question whether the thread of our connection still existed, Sue appeared to me during meditation. “I will send you birds,” she told me.

And so she has.

Of course.

Summer Robin Family #robins #rebirth #birds

I have become enraptured by a family of robins. I noticed their nest about a month ago, hanging on a low branch of my lilac bush. A mere few inches above the top of my head, it is ideally situated for my viewing. It also happens to be perfectly aligned with one of the windows on my porch. Ideal for taking photographs without intruding on privacy.

On Tuesday I noticed the first hatchling and became enraptured. That was it. My heart filled with love and awe for the circle of life that had decided to grace my yard.

To be privy to this brief unfolding; to watch its emergence and transformation, instills within the humble joy of bearing witness to a miracle. It is the dance of grace. It is small, yet profound reminder that life is in constant cycle.

I have named this family even though they are not mine to name. I am calling the babies Sue and Rachel, and I think perhaps no one will mind that I do. It is my way of remembering two lives that are in their own process of cycling. Two lives I was fortunate enough to share with my own for a brief time. Both lovers of birds who are now untethered from Earth. It seems fitting.

Many a moment is now spent watching. Watching the mother, Bratha, as she tends to her chicks. There are only two, where the average is 3-5 eggs per breeding cycle for the American robin. The number fits nicely into my homage.

In just a few days the eyes of the chicks have opened and their bodies have sprouted thick coats of mottled gray. They are beginning to find their voices as they call out their hunger to their mother.

She is mostly patient and obliging, but she also gives them space. Space to emerge into individuality. I find it both heartbreaking and beautiful. It reminds me of loss, but also of hope.

Bird of Spring

There’s a theme running through my dreams these nights. Springtime. I find myself in houses, and when I step outside spring is unfolding into gardens  abundant with the colors of rebirth. These dreams bring me hope – the promise of new life and all that it promises.

Today we had a nor-easter in New Hampshire, and life is still outside my home, save for this robin who has boldly braved the snow to remind me of that promise of rebirth.

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Robin: The Bird of (Re)birth #robins #robinsymbolism #robintotem #rebirth #sacralchakra #throatchakra

Robin

The American Robin is considered by many to be a harbinger of spring. When the robin returns to its summer home in the spring, it gets to work building a nest with its mate and laying a brood of beautiful, sky-blue eggs. It is also one of the first birds to sing at dawn, harkening the new day with its melodious voice.

The robin, in many respects, is a bird of beginnings, of birth, and of the rebirth of the true, creative self. Upon its proud chest, robin shamelessly displays the color orange. Although robins are considered to have a “red-breast,” the color is really a deep orange, the vibration of the second, or sacral chakra. Orange and the second chakra are symbolic of our creative and sexual drives. This wheel of energy stirs us into action, and when balanced and healthy,  enables us to live our creative truths without worry of how we will be received by the world.

When I see robin, the bird always inspires a sense of awe and reverence. Standing erect and confident on the ground, where it digs through the body of Earth for sustenance, robin appears a master of the self. The robin has no doubt who s/he is, unafraid to sing in full-throated beauty the first song of the morning.

The robin births eggs in the spring in the color of the cloudless sky, making the robin a creator of truth and a teacher for a healthy throat chakra. The throat chakra is the fifth chakra in the set of seven primary chakras in the body. It is closely tied to the second chakra. When we are able to create freely from that seat of orange energy, we need to be able to bring it up through our throats, where we express our truths with compassion and confidence.

Near the end of last summer, on the first day of returning to school for my children, I experienced a day of magical peace and communion with nature. It had been a difficult summer for me, not because the kids were home, although that presents its own set of challenges and gifts, last summer was a time of transition for me. I was emerging into the field of energy healing, and was getting ready to finish up my memoir and start sending it out to the world. I was feeling called to release old fears and habits that were no longer serving me. Part of this releasing was letting go of relationships that were no longer in alignment with who I was, and my upper back, neck and shoulders were suffering the struggle to unburdan an old, heavy load.

feather

That day at the end of August, after I sent my children off on the bus, I was able to decompress and live in the moment in a way I had not been able to for a long time. I spent the beautiful sun-filled day with my dogs walking in the woods and sitting outside. Many birds appeared to me, including a hummingbird, flicker, and robin. For a long time I watched these individual birds and took in the lessons they had to offer. Robin sat in a maple tree in my front yard, toward the middle of the afternoon shortly before the kids were due off the bus. I had my camera with me all day, and I captured the bird on the branch, then watched as it released a single feather, which swirled with gravity toward the earth beside where I sat. A gift, it seemed.

Spirit sometimes speaks to us with feathers, offering them to us as a gesture of hope and reassurance that we are a part of a great, universal love that is so vast and infinite we can hardly comprehend it in our human form. I am often reluctant to take feathers from the Earth when I see them, for there is also the belief that one should not take from Earth what one does not need, or belongs to someone else. Sometimes, though, the gifts are so overt one is pulled to accept them. That day, as I gently lifted the fallen feather, feeling the vibration of the robin’s energy still humming inside, I knew I had been given a precious gift. A gift of new birth and beginnings. It’s been quite a journey.