Category: Dreams

“Say What You Need to Say” #speakyourtruth #thyroiddisease

On By Alethea KehasIn Animal Messengers, Dreams, Energy Healing, Memoir, Reflections6 Comments

I turned off the light the other night after reading the following passage spoken by Agnes Whistling Elk in Lynn V. Andrews’ book Jaguar Woman, “‘Children are told to speak when spoken to. We as women are taught that to speak of our power is to be shunned by most of society. When you listen to the voices of many men and women you hear a strangled sound. And it’s no wonder. Women’s voices are often weak or a monotone or barely audible. Voices need to be open and free, so that energy can flow through the throat center. We hold our enlightenment there. If energy is trapped in the throat, it can’t move up into the crown of the head. That’s why we get sore throats, thyroid problems, or diseases such as throat cancer. Whenever you have an energy knot like that, it will eventually cause disease.'” (70)

Agnes and the narrator go on to discuss how this concept of trapped energy pertains to disorders in other areas of the human body, but this is where I ended my reading for the night. It was the message I needed to “hear.” After closing the book and placing it on my dresser, the lyrics “Say What You Need to Say” by John Mayer played over like a stuck record inside of my head.

The message from Spirit was clear and obvious, but the concept itself is complex. When I was about 24- years-old, I was diagnosed with thyroid disease. To be more precise, hypothyroidism, which means my thyroid was under-active. I was not surprised. Thyroid disease, after all, runs in my family on my mother’s side. She has it, her sister has it, my sister has it, and the list likely goes on. I have an old photograph of great aunts, five sisters posing in pretty dresses that hug their enlarged, goitered throats.

At 24, I thought my thyroid disease was a cause of bad genetics, I neglected to consider the environmental triggers. I didn’t realize I was holding a knot of energy trapped in my throat. All I knew was that I was destined to take a hormone to supplement my deficiency for the rest of my life, and that if I had children, especially daughters, it was likely they would suffer the same fate. This is what I was told, this is what I believed to be true.

I was wrong, thankfully. Over the past several years, I have witnessed the breaking down of the truths that were the foundation for my early life. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful I set foot on this path to spiritual truth. As Agnes states in Jaguar Woman, we heal ourselves, sometimes through the facilitation of others. Awhile ago a psychic told me I would cure, or heal, my thyroid disorder. I’m still getting there. I’ve lowered my dose, but not a lot. I wrote my memoir, but I still have not sent it out wholly and fearlessly into the world. And, I still don’t always “say what I need to say.”

What does that mean? How does the individual who is used to being silenced, often through many lifetimes, clear the trapped, stagnant energy in her throat? It’s not about avenging past wrongs, it’s not about anger or rage and it’s not a matter of turning into a person driven by aggression. I have lived most of this life trying to avoid conflict, assuming that if I were to speak my truths at certain moments, especially when dealing with aggressive people, I would face a verbal battle or worse. Silence became a way of life for me; a life, it seems, not so easy to change.

I still have moments when I flee a room in tears, unable to form the words caught in the web of energy inside my throat.  Sometimes we heal “miraculously,” sometimes we heal by small steps with a few leaps and bounds. In Jaguar Woman, Agnes cures the beginnings of disease in the narrator’s throat by using shamanic healing to help her free the image of a black crow Andrews sees trapped in her throat. The crow tells Andrews, “You need to remember the importance of saying what you need to say.” (66)

The words that we need to say come from that place of truth inside of our soul.  As Meyer sing, “from a heart wide open.” Our true voice is the clear, bold, yet compassionate voice of the spirit, stripped of the fears of ego. It is the release of constriction from fear’s hands at the present moment, for it does little good to move back to the past in an attempt to alter a situation that has already occurred. The energy has already been lost, or wasted. The moment cannot be fully recovered.

Later in the day, while driving my children into town, I turned on the radio at the moment “Free Bird,” by Lynyrd Skynyrd was playing. Spirit likes using this song as a call to action for me. It’s not an accident that a healthy throat chakra vibrates in the color of a cloudless blue sky, the color of a robin’s egg in spring. And, yes, I saw a robin when I walked out the door of my house in the morning, boldly baring its orange chest to the world and pointing its yellow beak to me.

4:30

On By Alethea KehasIn Dreams, Reflections4 Comments

It was another night of fitful dreams. Three nights ago it was a house full of snakes. I was inside, and the floor was a moving mass of their rainbowed bodies. As I have mentioned in an earlier post, snakes have been coming into my life a lot lately. Last week, while on vacation, I went for a run by myself and passed first a dead snake, and then a living snake. The snake is a symbol of change and transformation.  As Denise Lynn writes in her book The Hidden Power of Dreams, it is an animal that is not to be feared when seen in a dream.  It is a messenger/symbol that awakens healing and creative energy inside of us.

After my dream of snakes, I experienced 2 nights of dreams filled with packing bags for a trip I was to make by myself. The destination was unclear, and there was anxiety over filling the bags too full, as well as what I was leaving behind. There were piles of clothes I didn’t need, including some that belong to my mother. This is linked to the snake message and their ability to shed their old skins, leaving them behind like the baggage of the past that is no longer needed and can weigh us down.

I was also concerned with leaving my family behind for this journey I was to make. Worry, as you know, can tangle and incapacitate, and I found myself anxious about making my flight. In last night’s dream, I was to leave at 4:30pm. Clearly I needed to remember these numbers, because even after I woke with my pains in my 2nd chakra (yes, clearly energy was trying to free itself) and tried to reprogram my mind for a new dream, the numbers and the preparations for my journey came back to me.

Recently, a friend of mine told about Joanne Sacred Scribes’ website on interpreting number sequences. Scribes looks at the number 4:30 as a compilation of the individual numbers. The number 4  evokes the Archangels, 3, the Ascended Masters, and 0, the Universe and its endless potential of God/Source energy. 4 is also a number of building foundations, family and stability.  The number evokes the 4 elements and sacred directions. It speaks of wholeness and unity.

The number 3 is symbolic of the trinity of mind/body/spirt and the sacred feminine energies of child/mother/crone. When one combines 3 and 4 to get 7, the symbolism turns inward, to the sacred wisdom inside of us and the energy force of our 7 chakras. It’s a personal path to spiritual truth.

I’ve been feeling the pull to journey to that place of deeper inner wisdom. It’s waiting for me to strip away the vestiges of fear and to trust what my soul already knows. It is  journey we are all called to take at some point in our lives (or at various times in our lives), when we open ourselves to the divine blueprint of our soul’s truth. Why we fear this, it’s hard to say. We get caught up in what we think (or thought) is reality. The mundane sequence of “living” envelopes us and we neglect that spark of unlimited potential inside of us. We are afraid of being different. Of being “wrong.” Of failing. And sometimes, we are afraid of our ego-less power.

The ego easily interferes, telling us that we are unworthy of being divine beings, and causes us to doubt our potential. At least that is the case with me. I rarely doubt the divine energies that come through during healing sessions with clients, but I tend to doubt when it happens to me alone. But this is shifting. I am coming to accept that my soul is patiently waiting for me to shed the skin of my past and walk the path of divine potential.

On the night of July 29th, I was given the keys and some of my guides. The messages were clear and strong, and even though my ego tried to step in and interfere, this was not the stuff of the imagination. What I have come to realize and accept is that we are all capable of journeying to our divine truth, that the guides and tools we need are just  beyond the gate of fear. The stripping away is both exiting and liberating. I was a girl, after all, raised on the belief that we lived a soulless life that ended upon death. You can, perhaps, understand how wonderful it is for me to accept that the fairies I wanted so fiercely to believe in are not only are real, they are more real than the truths I was raised on.  Nothing matches the feeling of meeting the Fairy Queen, of talking with angels and Ascended Masters, of traveling to other realms and entering the energy of animal guides. We find home when we open the channel to our higher selves, and relearning the ancient wisdom that we are being called to remember.  There’s nothing like connecting to the divine life force of love energy that connects all of us. It’s time to believe what we know to be true, to travel back through the head of the ankh and remember.  If I am being called to take this journey, so are you.

Six Flying Geese #geese #birdmessengers #tarot

On By Alethea KehasIn Animal Messengers, Dreams, Memoir2 Comments

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This morning, as I began my walk in the woods, I was greeted by six geese flying over me in a V formation. I had been thinking about Mother’s Day approaching, and what it meant in terms of my relationship with my mother. There had been, as I recall, a momentary feeling of wistfulness for a past celebration of the day spent with my mother and sister in a quaint country restaurant nestled amid gardens of flowers and herbs (and most likely an abundance of fairies).

There had also been the remembrance of a dream from the night before in which I had found myself at the dinner table with my childhood family. It was not a pleasant dream, and more than the content itself, I retained the feeling of angst and the struggle for voice and self-assertion.

The geese, I later realized as I opened Ted Andrews’ book Animal Speak, where another gift and messenger from spirit. The number six, he tells us, is symbolic of family and the home. As Rachel Pollack points out in her book Tarot Wisdom, the Rider tarot deck consistently depicts the number six as a card of “unequal relationships.” There is a hierarchy, predominantly in the form of male energy, that occurs within the suits, much like the environment in my childhood home.

Back to the goose as an animal messenger. The goose, as Andrews points out, connects us to the childhood imagination, and the magic of fairy tales (hence the story-teller “Mother Goose”). When we go back to the stories we loved as children, Andrews tells us, we rediscover our path in this life.

When I was a child, I read to escape into other worlds. My favorite books were tales of magic and the untempered imagination. Books by authors such as C.S. Lewis, Madeleine L’Engle, and L. M. Montgomery. Through these wonderful stories, I danced with fairies and traveled through time and space to connect with the invisible magic of the universe. I was more at home inside these pages than I was inside my house.

I also loved stories, such as the Anne of Green Gables and Little House on the Prairie series that had as their protagonists girls who not only ran wild and free, but also wrote. You could say, in part, these books that I devoured brought me to my soul’s truth.

Since the geese I saw this morning where flying as a group of six in the standard V-formation, I might also explore the symbology of the V shape. Andrews writes that it is symbolic of an opening, calling us to explore new directions and possibilities in our lives. For me, the V shape also points us to the creative feminine energies. It makes me think of the chalice and of the Queen of Cups in the Rider tarot deck, a card I have always felt closely aligned with, and which has spoken to me many times in spreads.

In the Queen of Cups card, we see a woman, a queen, sitting on a throne that appears to be partially on land and partially in water. She wears the blue of water on her dress and robe, the color of truth and the throat chakra. The robe is lined with hints of red that ties in a ball at her neck, hinting at a mastery of one’s base fears, and need for grounding. The queen holds a large (one might say, overly large) chalice in her hands as she gazes intently at its mystery. The chalice is yellow gold, like the crown on her head, the color of divine energy and personal power (the 3rd chakra). There is the sense, from the card, that once the queen learns and opens the gifts of her chalice, she will be fulfilled, she will find her power, and she will find balance. It is, I feel, a card for the creative self waiting to be discovered. A card for women with its symbol of the chalice held by the queen.

Andrews also writes in his section on the goose, that the bird and its feather can aid the writer’s quest, helping her to open her gifts within, and place them on the page. All this from six geese passing over this morning. If I had been too lost in thought, I might not have noticed them.

Ask yourself what you are not seeing throughout the day, take care to pay attention, to watch and listen to the many forms in which the universe speaks to us. You can only benefit from doing so.

Animal Messengers: Cardinal #cardinals #birdsymbolism #animalmessengers

On By Alethea KehasIn Animal Messengers, Dreams, Reflections6 Comments

cardinalI am sitting here on my porch, listening to and watching birds. It’s what I would call a perfect May day, although we could use some rain. The sky is robin egg blue, the temperature hovering around 70 degrees, and a gentle breeze is keeping the black flies at bay. The air is infused with the song of birds.

Lately, I have been marveling at the capacity of the songbird to produce such a full-bodied, melodious sound. Did you know that the voice of the songbird enables plants to achieve more optimum growth and produce more food? One only has to sit outside on a spring day to believe that this must be true. There is something truly magical and peaceful about the song of birds.

The purpose of this post, though, is not to laude the lyrical gifts of the class of birds we call “songbirds,” but to explore their gifts as messengers from the spirit world. As I have written in previous posts, when we pay attention, spirit often speaks to us through nature.

Today, while I took the dogs for their early morning walk, a male cardinal flew across my path and stopped in a hemlock on the side of the road, waiting to be noticed. Yesterday, while I drove my daughter to a sporting event, first a male, and then a female cardinal flew in front of the windshield, bisecting my path in a dangerously close encounter that I could not fail to notice.

When we encounter animals and birds in such a manner, it behooves us pay attention, as it is likely that spirit is trying hard to get a message across to us. Cardinal certainly seemed to be trying to tell me something, so I took careful note. First, I took inventory of my thoughts – the ones that were passing through my head at the moment the male cardinal decided to fly across my path.

I had, I quickly realized, been thinking, or rather, fretting over my desire to manifest more clients and grow my healing business – a subject that has been consuming me of late. As my daughter told me the other day, “Well, you told the universe you didn’t want a lot of clients before you have the space for them.” Yes, she was right, and I have been trying to “correct” that intention over the past several weeks, as I realize I am ready and able to handle more clients while I wait for my new healing space to be created.

Those were my thoughts when the cardinal passed over, which led me to my dreams. Last night, while I slept, I was telling a woman who was in emotional distress that I could help her, but as I searched through my wallet for my business cards I realized they were missing. The previous night, I dreamt of sitting on the top of a very tall and long slide. It was red, rimmed in orange (symbolic of the first and second chakras, where we house our grounding energies, basic needs, and also our creative energies). The slide was steep, and had at least one “bump.” In the dream I was holding onto the hand rails at the side, reluctant and fearful of descending. A woman at the bottom was urging me to let go and slide to my destination. The first chakra, I might also note, houses a lot of our most primal, deeply rooted fears. The second chakra is also our sexual chakra. The slide, I realized the next morning, was like a birth canal, and I was being asked to let go and “rebirth” a new, fearless self.

Back to the cardinals I’ve encountered of late. Today, when the male cardinal flew into the hemlock, I stopped briefly to ask its message for me. Do try this for yourself, if you don’t already, when you encounter an animal, insect, or bird that feels like a messenger. You’ll likely get a response inside your mind. The words that entered my own mind spoke of insecurities and self-confidence. They spoke of the symbolism of the colors red and orange, as well of that beautiful, fearless, full-bodied song housed inside that small bird.

Being a natural “doubter,” I like to check my sources. So, I went home and read though the section on cardinals in Ted Andrew’s book Animal Speak, my personal, go-to-guide for animal symbolism. And there it was, right at the top of the page, “Renewed Vitality through Recognizing Self-Importance.” In other-words, don’t give up on your dreams and keep walking your path, leaving fear behind. As Andrews also notes, cardinals with their loud, clear song, urge us to listen and heed the messages around us. Their colors remind us to breathe new life into our ambitions, and assert our creative selves.

Pay attention to the birds who cross your path, drink in the healing energy of their songs, and ask them what messages they hold for you.

The Muse

On By Alethea KehasIn Dreams, Memoir, Reflections4 Comments

While I form the narrative of a young adult novel, I find myself pondering the muse in its varied, colorful forms. Realizing, as I do, that the muse extends to life itself. Let me first take you back to the night. In the realm of dreams we set the scene for our days. During sleep our mind strays to far-off places, playing with scenes like a mad artist. Or, at least mine does.

I’m not going to dwell on the metaphysics of dreams in this blog (I’ve dabbled in this area in previous posts), I simply want to relate how one’s dreams set the stage for one’s day. When we wake in the morning we carry the residue of our dreams like a sticky syrup, which never fully washes away. Because of our dreams we start our days feeling grumpy, groggy, out-of-sorts, content or in a state of eager joy, ready to embrace the day’s gifts.

Here is where our day begins, with the sap of the dream-muse. Sometimes it’s delightfully sweet and we savor its taste for as long as we can, and sometimes it’s bitter and bothersome. I spend many a morning wishing I had experienced more joy in my dreams, yet some mornings I have greater success removing their sticky residue. On these days I remember that I am, after all, the writer of my own script.

Which, brings me back to writing. So, I’m writing my first Y/A novel, and I have found I am not a writer who works by scripting, in advance, the entire plot, from beginning, to middle, to end. I didn’t even do this with my memoir. Writing, for me, is an adventure of trust. It’s about taking the risk of not knowing what will come next, yet trusting that the next will appear at some point. On a good day, on a day when I open myself up to the muse of life (and writing), I find what I am looking for and what I need. The muse is always waiting to be let in when I quiet my mind and open the door.

Yet, the muse is not always what we might expect, or think we want. We writers know how it can take us to unexpected places, some of which are quite shocking and uncomfortable. Our muses can lead us to our darkest secrets, or the darkest secrets of our characters. And, they can also lead us to limitless joy or help us find the next leg in our journey or narrative. So, while it behooves us to allow the muse to enter into our minds and into our daily activities, it also behooves us to remember who writes the final draft.

Perhaps we’re not quite ready to look under that boulder we’ve stubbornly placed in our path for so long, perhaps we only want to nudge it a couple of inches. Or, likewise, perhaps we don’t want our characters to morph into unruly and wild creatures who will scare readers away. Then, we simply take the reins back, draw in the slack and tighten our grips a little. The muse, after all, knows no limits. It’s free and without restraint. When we allow it to ramble it can skip and dance us all over the place.

I’ll confess there are days when I want to follow the muse deep into the forest (both literal and metaphoric) until I lose myself in its mysteries, but there’s always the mundane (joys) of life waiting to be attended to. There are meals to cook, children to feed, clothes to be washed. And, there’s that idea of a book tame enough to be shared.

Surrender

On By Alethea KehasIn Dreams, Energy Healing, Reflections4 Comments

surrender

The concept of surrender keeps appearing to me, during my days and nights. It comes cloaked in the words of my friends; it creeps into dreams on the back of nightmares; it shows up in the mirror.

My energy healer brought surrender to my attention recently, citing her own struggles, while gently nudging me to recognize mine own. Over the past week the call of surrender has appeared in myriad forms, making me aware of how universal its voice is.

When I explore the idea of surrender, I think about what binds us. Surrender, quite simply, is the opposite of resistance. Consider the pull of gravity as you climb a hill; consider the push of oars as you paddle your canoe against a strong river current; consider the tug of a child wanting to run free of your clutch.

What does it feel like to resist? What does it feel like to let go? What are you holding onto? I find what I am holding onto each night in my dreams. Here I struggle to let go of my fears, and some nights I experience the bliss of letting go.

We resist out of fear, and the impulse to control our fate and the fate of circumstance that are ultimately beyond our control. Resistance creates knots is our stomachs, our shoulders, and our necks. It quite literally traps the flow of our energy centers, densely packing pockets that bind. Resistance creates imbalance both internally and externally. The flow of energy inside of us is impeded, as well as the energy that we give and receive externally – that beautiful state of balance our souls seek to achieve with the universal flow of energy.

Consider the effects of letting go – of surrendering as you go about the day – and notice what is causing you to constrict the easy flow of your energy. Perhaps your trigger will be a misplaced phone, being late for a meeting, a beautiful home you see in a magazine, a jar of pickles that you are sure you purchased, but never made their way into your pantry, or the feeling of illness trying to manifest itself inside your cells.

What is it like to experience your triggers of resistance? How do they make you feel? When I think of the opposite of resistance – surrender, I see an eagle or a hawk soaring with the currents of wind; I think of a leaf, floating gently down a stream; I think of a healthy, radiant, balanced body. For me these are images of absolute freedom, and represent the beautiful, natural flow of energy.

Many spiritual leaders are calling our attention to the surge of flu outbreaks and other widespread illnesses that our occurring right now, as a reminder of what we are individually and collectively holding onto. For, when we let our fears bind us to tightly, we make an easy host to illness. Now, more than ever, as we seek to move into higher frequencies of existence, we are being nudged (sometimes not too gently), to let go of resistance. It all, of course, comes down to fear, and sometimes it’s so deep-seated we don’t know where to begin to untie its cords. Yet, with each snip of release – each surrender to what is beyond our “control” – we move closer to a state of peace and freedom. We move closer to the harmonic frequency of love.

For a wonderful (and soothing) example of the harmonious flow of energy, please watch this Bird Ballet video:
http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2013/01/bird-ballet-thousands-of-birds-dance-in-the-sky/

Lament

On By Alethea KehasIn Dreams, Energy Healing, ReflectionsLeave a comment

This morning I find myself sitting beside  a stove where fire melts wet wood, and provides a warm contrast to the wonderfully white world outside my window. I am thankful for the heat, the beauty, and the quite solitude that blesses my morning, yet here I am writing about lament.

Lament was the subject of the poem that came to me as I gazed at the falling snow. I barely thought about its meaning as I scribbled down the flow of words. Moments later, I paused to check Facebook, and there it was, a friend’s lament over missed chances; over not heeding her inner voice, until, she feared, it was too late.

Of course, it’s never too late.  The voice is still there, waiting to be heard. There is only the present to retrieve our gifts. The past is but a memory, reminding us of what we still can be. Of what we still are, if only we trust enough to heed our inner voices and become our truths. Does lament for lost opportunities, or lost “time,” really serve us? Perhaps it can, if we let it, spur us into action. Perhaps we can use it as a nudge to push us over possibility. The Now is the time to follow your heart and heed that inner voice. Once you realize that you are in control, that only your fears hold you back, you can start chipping away at them.

Last week, I launched my dream to help others. It took, I’ll admit, a large dose of courage to get there. It took a lot of chipping away and healing, and there was more than an once of doubt trying to taint its sweetness, but I did it. What is your dream? Here’s mine:

inner truth healing http://innertruthhealing.com/home/

The House as a Metaphor in Dreams

On By Alethea KehasIn Dreams, Memoir, ReflectionsLeave a comment

I often dream of houses, I always have. Sometimes I wake in awe of the beauty of the architecture of my dream-world homes, wishing at these moments that I was painter. Wondering, at other times, which homes I am remembering from a past life.

Metaphorically, though, there is always something to take away from a dream house or building. When I find myself in a home rich with architecture and vivd colors, I am reminded of the rich tapestry of the soul’s truth. I am bounded only by imagination. We are all bounded only by our inner truths.

And, sometimes, we are inhibited only by our own fears. My fears manifest in houses that become mazes of rooms without exits, bathrooms without walls, and crumbled architecture. Last night, I found myself in a farmhouse with ample room, yet I yearned for one more room where I could entertain. I walked out of the kitchen (the heart of the home/soul) and found myself in the perfect room. It was large. It was empty. There were four walls joined into a rectangle.

As I contemplated my room I realized what was missing. The floor was not a floor, but rather the bare ground covered in grass. The ceiling, an open sky. The door and windows, merely frames. How, I wondered, was I going to fix my room? What would be the cost? Was it something I could afford?

I agonized in my dream-state, grabbling with this obstacle, not letting myself see how simple the solution was. With little effort though, the walls could come down. A “gentle” reminder that sometimes I/we get caught up in the superficial aspects of life, neglecting the true essence of our beings. Sometimes it is hard to let go. Even in my dream, I wanted both. I imagined large skylights in the ceiling, once I found a way to put one in.

Stepping into Joy

On By Alethea KehasIn Dreams, Memoir, ReflectionsLeave a comment

I love Denise Linn and her wisdom. Today these words of hers appeared on my FB wall, “When you step into your joy, you’ll recognize the need to release people that consistently make you feel anything less. Be your own fierce protector.”

The more light we let in, the less room there is for pain. Pockets of dense matter suddenly start breaking away. But, it is not always an easy process. In my last blogs I have  spoken of my struggle to heed the urgings of my guides and their messages that have often come through so strongly in my dreams and meditations. Recognizing that I have immersed myself and my family in an environment that I had tried to believe was premised on love and community, but was really dominated by the undertones of fear, has been difficult, at best.

These last few weeks I have struggled to break free. I have felt anger, sadness, guilt and remorse. I have felt alone, as the resistance extends to my family. But I have also felt the undertones of freedom and my own personal power. I know that sometimes relationships are meant to end, having served out their purposes, it is time to move on. Yet, sometimes we need to be “fierce” in our approach to break free from an environment that we now recognize as abusive. The other people involved will not see themselves in the same way we now perceive them, as they are still living in that place trapped by pain. They will often try to keep your ties firmly knotted, so that you remain in a place of less light. It makes them feel better. It makes their pain bodies feel powerful.

I also know that I have benefitted from these circumstances. Each is a lesson; a chance to grow and move to a place of more light and healing. More light seeps into the pockets of pain, breaking away the dense energy that has been trapped. I am reminded that when we are called to move beyond a place of pain, all parties benefit, even if it is not recognized. The worst thing we can do is to stay in an effort to protect the egos of others. We must have the courage to see beyond to the soul, realizing that when we act from the seat of our heart, we can only help the souls of others.

Free Bird, Fly

On By Alethea KehasIn Animal Messengers, Dreams, Gaia & Elementals, Memoir, ReflectionsLeave a comment

The lyrics of Lynyrd Skynyrd filtered through my dream ruminations as I walked the dogs  earlier this morning. Often, spirit spends me messages through songs. They are a blunt, yet kind reminders of the crux of my present state.

Last night I dreamed I was in an elevator. After the doors were closed and the button was pushed, I found myself drifting swiftly towards the ceiling until I hovered there alone. Everyone else’s feet were grounded as the elevator moved towards its destination. I panicked, asking someone to pull me down. Finally, the bellhop grabbed my legs and pulled me to the floor. When my feet were back on level ground, I searched my wallet for a tip. Intending initially to give him 2, 1 dollar bills, I pulled out a 5 instead. In her book, The Hidden Power of Dreams, Denise Linn writes that the number 5 is often indicative of freedom, “the number of the free soul, of excitement, and of change.” It is “self-emancipating.” (p. 206)

The messages from spirit could not be more clear. A week ago I saw Eagle during meditation. After flying freely through the heavens, Eagle landed upon a large, white oval egg. As I watched, this symbol of freedom and the egg it clutched between its talons, it rotated upon the air as though upon an invisible pedestal. “What do you wish to tell me,” I asked. Eagle replied, “I am incubating you until you are ready to hatch out.”

When I asked my guides to bring me to the under-world for healing, I found myself on a pond with my palms turned up to the heavens. Beneath me I was sitting on a pink lotus flower, its petals in full bloom. I was Sarasvati, her energy pouring through my palms. A large, healthy fish swam around me, leaping through the surface like a dolphin.

I have a dear friend in Savannah, Georgia. My friend is a transplant of the south, having grown up in the northeast. In the south she often finds herself the outsider. She is not only a writer, she is a mom and an environmental activist. We share these traits. While I have always shirked from confrontation though, my friend shines when she is “agitating the pot.” Her powerful, beautiful soul shines through in these moments when she stands, often alone, amongst the masses to voice her thoughts regarding perceived injustices. She was an instrumental force in shutting down a polluting power plant near her home. The victory resulted in the clearing of her son’s asthma. My friend is a testament to the power of the spirit. I find her power inspirational.

Often, it takes me long periods of bubbling silence until I finally reach the point of action. The water in the pot, nearly, if not already, boiling over. I have yet to achieve comfort in standing alone – in hovering above the crowds, secure in my wisdom. There are times though, when our souls call us to action; when silence is not the path to peace. Like my friend, I am often called to act when a situation not only concerns my own health (I mean this on a soul and physical level), but the health of my family. I have to trust that sometimes my vision extends beyond those around me, to the seat of the soul. This is a sometimes troubling “gift” I have had since childhood. When I was young and opened my mouth to speak my truth, I was silenced. The same fear holds me like an invisible noose.

The challenge for many of us, I suspect, is learning to speak with compassion and conviction. Oppressors of individual freedom most often have no idea that they are oppressors, as they exist within their own environments of fear. When we oppress others, our souls are crying out for our own freedom, yet our shadow selves will often take over and use “power” or physical force to silence those around us. Often those who are silenced are the souls who have been victimized many times in the past (or in traumatic past lives that they are still recovering from). They are easy targets.

The oppressors in my life have often been people I love deeply, making it exponentially more difficult to confront them and remove myself and my family from their toxic energy.  Sometimes their true souls shine through in the white light of love, but too often they are crippled within the darkness of pain. My efforts to “heal” them with love fail, as I learn it is not my path to change theirs. Yet, people must not compromise individual health and the health of their children, spouses, etc, by allowing a toxic relationship to occur. Even if we cannot shine a light of mutual understanding on these circumstances, we must have the courage to break free while still within the place of love.