What Defines a “Real Job?” #work #joy

On By Alethea KehasIn Reflections
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Recently, I found myself engaged in a conversation about yoga with one of my regular class attendees. Instead of discussing philosophy or structure, the subject was centered on her daughter’s movement into the field of teaching yoga. After telling me where her daughter was leading classes, her mom chuckled nervously and said, “Well, she still has a real job too.”

Ouch!

I smiled, but inside I cringed. It was apparent the words spilled out from a place of societal programing and expectations, and after they were released, their orator made a stumbling attempt to retract them. Since our conversation I’ve thought about whether I wanted to make it the subject of a blog post. Because this little “ouch” felt much bigger than me, I decided to give it a voice.

So how do we define what a “real job” is?

At least in the country where I reside, a real job seems to be defined primarily by income and degree of education. I think which is most important depends on the definer. If you asked my accountant, the former is really all that matters. When it comes to my taxes, my degrees and experience are not considered, only my annual income. According to my accountant, my “real jobs” are hobbies.

According to me, though, my real jobs are not often compensated with a financial reward. Twenty-one years ago I decided to make motherhood my primary real job, forgoing a financially lucrative career as a marketing communications manager to devote my days (and nights) to mothering. I still consider motherhood the most important job I have ever held. I still consider it my “real job,” even though I have added to it a list of other “jobs” I have done and currently do that add elements of financial support to my family.

Over the years, I have come to believe, ever-more-firmly, that a “real job,” is a job governed by the heart and not by the ego-centric mind. I consider motherhood a real job, just as I do teaching yoga and writing, even when they don’t result in a paycheck or offer 9-5 hours.

I have come to believe that a “real job” brings the individual a sense of deep connection and moments of joy that transcends the ego’s definition of “happy.” An authentic job is driven by the soul’s yearning to learn and grow inwardly, not just outwardly. It allows the person who is leading it to grow in a way that allows others to flourish at the same time.

And I believe that if more of us considered this as a definition of a “real job,” our world would be a radically different place. A better place.

What do you think?

24 thoughts on “What Defines a “Real Job?” #work #joy”

  1. I have had the same problem many times. So many people don’t see motherhood and writing as real jobs. But they’re so valid and so worthwhile, every bit as important as other, well-paid jobs, often more so, especially in the case of motherhood.

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  2. I do like your definition. My first thought was “occupation”, but that is a little slippery as well. I think “real job” is very much in the mind of the worker. My photography is very much a hobby, not a “real job”, but I can very easily see my music as being a “real job”, if not now then some time in the not too distant future.

    When I was studying French culture before my first trip to Paris I read that they had an idea that no occupation is better than another. You treat the person picking up litter on the street with as much respect as the CEO of a major corporation. So someone in marketing does not hold a higher position than a yoga instructor. I like that philosophy…

    Unrelated – your image for the post says “Dream Job” which reminds me that back in the very early days of my blog I put a post “My Dream Job”. I have no idea what I wrote back then, but it still gets a few hits every now and then. Maybe I should go back and see what I thought 10 years ago…

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    1. Thank you for all of this, Trent. I wanted to stretch this idea with the image, as you noted. I’d be eager to hear what you rediscover from your post 10 years ago. For me, my dream job is this sanctuary I am going to build. It’s been rooted inside of me for as long as I can remember, even though it’s taken a while to “define” it. Not that it is wholly defined now, but a thing of constant flux and evolution, rather like all of us…

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      1. I hope that your sign is a sign and you will move forward on your sanctuary this year 🙂
        I just looked up the post – from 2014 it had 3 views in the last 30 days… Real brief, I wrote back then that I wished I could be am author/artist/composer but given that I most likely won’t, I need to find a way to add creativity to my current job. Funny that back then I was looking at being a classical composer and not a rock musician, but I had just come off a decade of intense study of contemporary classical composition, so… All of which I have pretty much forgotten by now 😉

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    1. I’m sorry your daughter is subjected to this discrimination when it comes to her life’s work. It’s a shame. I think art is essential to our collective wellbeing and how wonderful that it is both her passion and job.

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  4. A “real job” is definitely tied to money-making. Way before people with “real jobs” were allowed to work at home, I raised my kids while doing freelance work–the same job I used to do in an office, for one firm, I now did at home, for many clients. People thought nothing of imposing on me to do things for them while they were at their “real jobs” because I was working at home, and therefore not really working. But an even bigger stigma was the fact that I wasn’t making a lot of money at it. I’m sure most people don’t consider housekeepers or elder/child care workers as having real jobs either. Or the (mostly immigrants) who mow their lawns. That’s why they pay them so badly. And almost no creative pursuits are considered to be actual work. Moving money around?–now there’s a “real” job…(K)

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  5. You’re getting me to take a closer look at the phrase, “real job.” There’s often a big difference between the job that pays the bills and the work that feeds the heart and soul. I started my career with what I considered a real job – the one that offered financial stability, but after a quarter of a century, it started draining my soul. I’m so thankful to be retired and to be able to feed my soul as much as I want to.

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    1. Sadly our “real jobs” are most often just that. Soul-draining. I have taken up a per diem “real job” to help pay expenses and find it to be mostly draining. What a wonderful world it would be if we equally appreciated our artists and visionaries. I’m so glad you are feeding your soul now.

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  7. Imogen Sharma's avatar Imogen Sharma

    Ahh this really hit home. A real job is something that makes money! How backwards is it that we teach kids that a job isn’t real if it doesn’t involve stripping away your own identity and following a rigid schedule. Different people thrive in different ways – when will we stop judging and stunting each other? I’ve loved every minute of being a freelance writer and just laugh if people suggest it’s not a real job. Great post.

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