I have started working with the mantra Aham Prema, which, translated into English means “I am Divine Love.” 54 repetitions with the mala beads brings my voice outside of myself to a state beyond insecurity. My body becomes a vibration of energy amplified by the back of my throat. Constriction releases as I settle into the frequency of the ancient notes of Sanskrit.
“I am Divine Love.” Aham Prema.
Quite some time ago, I was sitting inside a pub with a friend of mine. We were talking about yoga, and she was telling me how it brings her to a state of discomfort. “It’s like welcoming the divine into your body,” she stated. I thought that was beautifully perfect.
Aham Prema. “I am Divine Love.”
Is this not what we all seek? Yoga, and all that it encompasses, is not merely a series of poses, it asks us to let the divine into our bodies. This energy of unconditional love. As we open ourselves up to the practice, we cannot help but let this energy in, and at the same time, the divine in us becomes ignited.
What if, though, we are not used to unconditional love? To being loved by ourselves in this state, as well as by others?
Dissolving the barriers of conditioning is not an easy process. We must become naked to our true selves. Is there a more vulnerable act?
Aham Prema. “I am Divine Love.” Say it out loud. Where do you feel it? Where does this mantra take you?
I am brought to the throat, the place where the history of constriction of my truth is held. The power of my own voice, I notice with the first repetition of this sound feels uncomfortable. There is the impulse to cringe at what my brain wants to perceive as disharmony. The false voice of the critic creeps in to take its accustomed place of silencing. Yet, I continue on. I move the beads through my right hand, holding place with my left. I feel my voice grow in strength.
By bead 10, I discover my voice has taken on a life of its own. It fills me with its resonance. I no longer care if it sounds pretty because I am already drawn into its raw power.
I am Divine Love.