Tag: toxic relationships

Toxic Energy

On By Alethea KehasIn Energy Healing, Memoir, Reflections6 Comments

 

 

Sometimes in life we encounter energy that is so wonderful, it transforms us into a state of pure joy. While in that energy, and hopefully for sometime after, our own energetic vibration is raised to match the frequency of the being that is emanating this bliss. This could be a person, a group of people, an animal, or even a place in nature. I need only to walk into the woods with an uncluttered heart, and I feel lighter and happier than I was when I left my house. The energy of love is always nearby, we just need to allow ourselves to tune into it.

Sadly, some people are so consumed by their lower vibrating emotions that they rarely, if ever, allow themselves to harmonize with the frequency of joy, or, what I like to call, pure love. The lower vibrating energies of anger, fear, hate and pain weigh our bodies down, and they leave their shadows behind, even when their source as moved elsewhere. Have you ever walked into a place, even if it is devoid of people, and felt an over-whelming sadness, or maybe even a flash of anger? I remember years ago, walking along the trail of an old battlefield and feeling consumed with despair, even though it was a bright sunny day. I was having a nice outing with my husband and young children, and had no logical reason to be suddenly sad. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I was feeling the energy of grief and despair left by people who had lost their lives at that site, lingering, still, centuries later.

For those of us particularly sensitive to energies, we easily reap the rewards of being around high vibrations, but also suffer more from energy that is dense. In some cases this energy is even toxic to our beings. This has been a tough lesson for me to learn, and I am, to this day, still dealing with how to know when to remove myself from energy that feels toxic to my body and soul. And, then, there is the question of how to cut the cords.

As I suspect is true of most empaths, I could safely say I started feeling and absorbing the energies around me even before birth. Studies have show that an emotionally and/or physically stressed pregnant mother is more likely to have a baby that is colicky, under-weight, and/or will suffer from emotional dis-ease in life.

 

If a child is brought into the world knowing the energies of fear, and then finds that her world outside the womb is filled with the same, she will need to figure out, instinctively, how to survive inside an environment that is in many ways toxic to her health. I use the world health in the broadest sense possible.

Those of us who know, too well, what it is like to live in energies derived predominately from fear, are likely to have a more difficult time cutting their toxic cords. Until we learn that these energies cannot have a hold on us, unless we allow them to, we will continue to encounter their desperate grasp.

I find this idea complicated by having a family and being in circumstances where I need to recognize how a situation, or an individual(s), is affecting no only me, but my young children, and sometimes, my husband. I find myself asking the questions: Is this person or situation only toxic to me? How are my children reacting when they are around this energy? Is there a benefit to being around this person or in this situation, and, if so, does it out-weigh the cost(s)?

Here is where it gets particularly tricking, because I truly believe that underneath all that heavy energy, there is pure love. If I allow myself to enter a meditative state and align with the soul energies of people who appear toxic in my life, I am able to see them in their true essence, and always their higher-selves vibrate in the energy of pure love. Yet, this alone does not solve the dilemma of what to do in this life with the dominate energies we allow ourselves to receive from these people and circumstances.

I have learned to wear stones and crystals, to seal the holes in my energy field, and, if need be, to clear the imprints of dense energies, yet I have to admit, I would prefer not to. I’d love to life in a world where I only encounter (and, I should add, send out), the frequency of love. Sadly, this world, on Earth, does not yet exist.

As I write this, I long for an easy, or at least a clear-cut answer. Perhaps it is there and I have yet to find it. For me the answer is complex, as there is always a loss. Someone will often suffer from whatever decision I make (at least in my mind), and I suspect it’s that nagging guilt that I so easily align to, that keeps me from making a clean separation.

 

Free Bird, Fly

On By Alethea KehasIn Animal Messengers, Dreams, Gaia & Elementals, Memoir, ReflectionsLeave a comment

The lyrics of Lynyrd Skynyrd filtered through my dream ruminations as I walked the dogs  earlier this morning. Often, spirit spends me messages through songs. They are a blunt, yet kind reminders of the crux of my present state.

Last night I dreamed I was in an elevator. After the doors were closed and the button was pushed, I found myself drifting swiftly towards the ceiling until I hovered there alone. Everyone else’s feet were grounded as the elevator moved towards its destination. I panicked, asking someone to pull me down. Finally, the bellhop grabbed my legs and pulled me to the floor. When my feet were back on level ground, I searched my wallet for a tip. Intending initially to give him 2, 1 dollar bills, I pulled out a 5 instead. In her book, The Hidden Power of Dreams, Denise Linn writes that the number 5 is often indicative of freedom, “the number of the free soul, of excitement, and of change.” It is “self-emancipating.” (p. 206)

The messages from spirit could not be more clear. A week ago I saw Eagle during meditation. After flying freely through the heavens, Eagle landed upon a large, white oval egg. As I watched, this symbol of freedom and the egg it clutched between its talons, it rotated upon the air as though upon an invisible pedestal. “What do you wish to tell me,” I asked. Eagle replied, “I am incubating you until you are ready to hatch out.”

When I asked my guides to bring me to the under-world for healing, I found myself on a pond with my palms turned up to the heavens. Beneath me I was sitting on a pink lotus flower, its petals in full bloom. I was Sarasvati, her energy pouring through my palms. A large, healthy fish swam around me, leaping through the surface like a dolphin.

I have a dear friend in Savannah, Georgia. My friend is a transplant of the south, having grown up in the northeast. In the south she often finds herself the outsider. She is not only a writer, she is a mom and an environmental activist. We share these traits. While I have always shirked from confrontation though, my friend shines when she is “agitating the pot.” Her powerful, beautiful soul shines through in these moments when she stands, often alone, amongst the masses to voice her thoughts regarding perceived injustices. She was an instrumental force in shutting down a polluting power plant near her home. The victory resulted in the clearing of her son’s asthma. My friend is a testament to the power of the spirit. I find her power inspirational.

Often, it takes me long periods of bubbling silence until I finally reach the point of action. The water in the pot, nearly, if not already, boiling over. I have yet to achieve comfort in standing alone – in hovering above the crowds, secure in my wisdom. There are times though, when our souls call us to action; when silence is not the path to peace. Like my friend, I am often called to act when a situation not only concerns my own health (I mean this on a soul and physical level), but the health of my family. I have to trust that sometimes my vision extends beyond those around me, to the seat of the soul. This is a sometimes troubling “gift” I have had since childhood. When I was young and opened my mouth to speak my truth, I was silenced. The same fear holds me like an invisible noose.

The challenge for many of us, I suspect, is learning to speak with compassion and conviction. Oppressors of individual freedom most often have no idea that they are oppressors, as they exist within their own environments of fear. When we oppress others, our souls are crying out for our own freedom, yet our shadow selves will often take over and use “power” or physical force to silence those around us. Often those who are silenced are the souls who have been victimized many times in the past (or in traumatic past lives that they are still recovering from). They are easy targets.

The oppressors in my life have often been people I love deeply, making it exponentially more difficult to confront them and remove myself and my family from their toxic energy.  Sometimes their true souls shine through in the white light of love, but too often they are crippled within the darkness of pain. My efforts to “heal” them with love fail, as I learn it is not my path to change theirs. Yet, people must not compromise individual health and the health of their children, spouses, etc, by allowing a toxic relationship to occur. Even if we cannot shine a light of mutual understanding on these circumstances, we must have the courage to break free while still within the place of love.