Toxic Energy

 

 

Sometimes in life we encounter energy that is so wonderful, it transforms us into a state of pure joy. While in that energy, and hopefully for sometime after, our own energetic vibration is raised to match the frequency of the being that is emanating this bliss. This could be a person, a group of people, an animal, or even a place in nature. I need only to walk into the woods with an uncluttered heart, and I feel lighter and happier than I was when I left my house. The energy of love is always nearby, we just need to allow ourselves to tune into it.

Sadly, some people are so consumed by their lower vibrating emotions that they rarely, if ever, allow themselves to harmonize with the frequency of joy, or, what I like to call, pure love. The lower vibrating energies of anger, fear, hate and pain weigh our bodies down, and they leave their shadows behind, even when their source as moved elsewhere. Have you ever walked into a place, even if it is devoid of people, and felt an over-whelming sadness, or maybe even a flash of anger? I remember years ago, walking along the trail of an old battlefield and feeling consumed with despair, even though it was a bright sunny day. I was having a nice outing with my husband and young children, and had no logical reason to be suddenly sad. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I was feeling the energy of grief and despair left by people who had lost their lives at that site, lingering, still, centuries later.

For those of us particularly sensitive to energies, we easily reap the rewards of being around high vibrations, but also suffer more from energy that is dense. In some cases this energy is even toxic to our beings. This has been a tough lesson for me to learn, and I am, to this day, still dealing with how to know when to remove myself from energy that feels toxic to my body and soul. And, then, there is the question of how to cut the cords.

As I suspect is true of most empaths, I could safely say I started feeling and absorbing the energies around me even before birth. Studies have show that an emotionally and/or physically stressed pregnant mother is more likely to have a baby that is colicky, under-weight, and/or will suffer from emotional dis-ease in life.

 

If a child is brought into the world knowing the energies of fear, and then finds that her world outside the womb is filled with the same, she will need to figure out, instinctively, how to survive inside an environment that is in many ways toxic to her health. I use the world health in the broadest sense possible.

Those of us who know, too well, what it is like to live in energies derived predominately from fear, are likely to have a more difficult time cutting their toxic cords. Until we learn that these energies cannot have a hold on us, unless we allow them to, we will continue to encounter their desperate grasp.

I find this idea complicated by having a family and being in circumstances where I need to recognize how a situation, or an individual(s), is affecting no only me, but my young children, and sometimes, my husband. I find myself asking the questions: Is this person or situation only toxic to me? How are my children reacting when they are around this energy? Is there a benefit to being around this person or in this situation, and, if so, does it out-weigh the cost(s)?

Here is where it gets particularly tricking, because I truly believe that underneath all that heavy energy, there is pure love. If I allow myself to enter a meditative state and align with the soul energies of people who appear toxic in my life, I am able to see them in their true essence, and always their higher-selves vibrate in the energy of pure love. Yet, this alone does not solve the dilemma of what to do in this life with the dominate energies we allow ourselves to receive from these people and circumstances.

I have learned to wear stones and crystals, to seal the holes in my energy field, and, if need be, to clear the imprints of dense energies, yet I have to admit, I would prefer not to. I’d love to life in a world where I only encounter (and, I should add, send out), the frequency of love. Sadly, this world, on Earth, does not yet exist.

As I write this, I long for an easy, or at least a clear-cut answer. Perhaps it is there and I have yet to find it. For me the answer is complex, as there is always a loss. Someone will often suffer from whatever decision I make (at least in my mind), and I suspect it’s that nagging guilt that I so easily align to, that keeps me from making a clean separation.

 

Stepping into Joy

I love Denise Linn and her wisdom. Today these words of hers appeared on my FB wall, “When you step into your joy, you’ll recognize the need to release people that consistently make you feel anything less. Be your own fierce protector.”

The more light we let in, the less room there is for pain. Pockets of dense matter suddenly start breaking away. But, it is not always an easy process. In my last blogs I have  spoken of my struggle to heed the urgings of my guides and their messages that have often come through so strongly in my dreams and meditations. Recognizing that I have immersed myself and my family in an environment that I had tried to believe was premised on love and community, but was really dominated by the undertones of fear, has been difficult, at best.

These last few weeks I have struggled to break free. I have felt anger, sadness, guilt and remorse. I have felt alone, as the resistance extends to my family. But I have also felt the undertones of freedom and my own personal power. I know that sometimes relationships are meant to end, having served out their purposes, it is time to move on. Yet, sometimes we need to be “fierce” in our approach to break free from an environment that we now recognize as abusive. The other people involved will not see themselves in the same way we now perceive them, as they are still living in that place trapped by pain. They will often try to keep your ties firmly knotted, so that you remain in a place of less light. It makes them feel better. It makes their pain bodies feel powerful.

I also know that I have benefitted from these circumstances. Each is a lesson; a chance to grow and move to a place of more light and healing. More light seeps into the pockets of pain, breaking away the dense energy that has been trapped. I am reminded that when we are called to move beyond a place of pain, all parties benefit, even if it is not recognized. The worst thing we can do is to stay in an effort to protect the egos of others. We must have the courage to see beyond to the soul, realizing that when we act from the seat of our heart, we can only help the souls of others.

The Weight of Water

The weight of my mother rests inside my chest. Last night, in dream, I saw her face as it once was, young and full of beauty. Inside her blue eyes there was the light of hope and understanding. My urgent words had started breaking down a barrier and through its thinned walls I could see the beauty of her soul. I wonder does she know that we all hold pain within our bodies, but each of us has the will to set it free?

Later, I walked through a land covered in blue-gray. A still water rose with my steps, covering the earth. Together, the water and I reached a transformer station, where electrical energy is caged behind wires before it is sent to our homes. I wondered what would happen when we all met: water, electricity and me. What would my body do with the surge of power?