It’s nearly the end of summer, and almost three months since my last blog post. Now and then I thought about stopping to write, but I abandoned the idea for various reasons. During this fiery season, Life has wrapped her joy and loss around me in a shroud that has caused a fair amount of processing and examination. I suspect I am not alone. We are each trying to navigate this labyrinth of uncertainty where kindness is woven into cruelty as love reaches out her arms to marry hate. Asking, perhaps in each moment, how much can be held at once.

My individual journey this summer has led me to an acceptance without resignation. My eagerness to push my long-held dream of creating a wellness sanctuary in nature into reality has caused me to face disappointments and realizations that initially felt monumental, but which were in reality merely pauses and opportunities to reassess and redirect. In early August, the month of my birth, I lost a beloved canine companion, Zelda, and was pushed out moved on from a soul-crushing job.

There is a period of unease, an adjustment to unsettlement, that comes with a series of sudden changes, especially unexpected ones. We learn during these times what forms and defines us. We learn what needs to release before the rebuilding begins. I am getting used to the gifts of a quieter house as I scrub away the stains and welcome in the autumn air. I am finding comfort in the gift of solitude, and this time offered for letting go the hold of unfounded fears.

There is a profound peace the rises when one sits with potential. The stirrings of magic that bubble up through the strata of self is nothing other than joy. Suddenly the palette becomes infinite, the canvas without borders. The human mind, its only limitation. Or maybe it’s not in fact the mind, but its emotions. Letting go of the known and embracing the yet-to-be-defined is not without entanglements. Yet we do not go through life without support even when we believe the structure has collapsed.

The losses that have come along my path this summer have not been catastrophic, but they have nudged me towards reclaiming my origin story. They have brought me back to residing with my truth and not something that has been manufactured out of fear. The summer has gifted me with the opportunity to open to something that is still being defined. The imaginal cells are stirring, they are finding bonds, they are starting to form their potential. As always, life it is to-be-continued.