I love that my daughter and her boyfriend greet each other with a hug. Their bodies mold into the embrace in the mutual offering of love and comfort. That is the beauty of a hug.
We’ve forgotten how to hug that way in my family, and if truth be told, I don’t think my husband and I every truly learned how to hug properly. When I was a teenager, working as a waitress, one of my coworkers surprised me with a spontaneous hug upon observing that I was having a challenging shift. My body stiffened in response. She noticed, but without being offended, she understood. Her understanding made me realize how complicated affection had been in my own family while growing up. There were plenty of hugs and kisses, but many of them were not wanted.
When my children were little I relished every hug and snuggle I got, and my one regret was that I didn’t do more to keep the hugs a normal part of our daily life. Too many comments were made about the dependency of affection and raising independent strong, children (mostly directed at the bond between my son and me), and somehow, over time, I gave them away. And so did he. My daughter, who was always more independent, never seemed to need my hugs. Or so I thought.
But I know better now. She gives hugs freely to those who seek them with her, while I am still working my way back those easy hugs with her. And her brother. We have begun to talk about it as a family. It’s not an easy conversation. There is baggage to unload, but it is necessary. Even teenagers need to be hugged. And often. They may not initiate the hug, just as they have a right not to have the hug forced upon them, but that doesn’t mean they are not seeking that connection.
So I am working my way back to those regular embraces, perhaps too carefully as I am overly sensitive about overstepping bounds, but I have found the journey not only rewarding and healing, but necessary. Everyone thrives on love and there is nothing that compares to a mutually loving hug where two hearts join together enfolded by the comfort of arms.
The last year and a half deprived us all of hugs! It feels good now to be able to hug those we trust.
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Kudos for wanting to hug more, and clear what is in the way. I didn’t grow up with hugs or much affection but have learned that I love it and need it.
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I’m glad you are now “embracing” that aspect of life. It seems so important to our wellbeing.
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Agreed.
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The human touch is so necessary. I don’t think any of us get enough. (K)
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I agree, truly loving touch is essential nourishment. ❤️
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I grew up not knowing the joy of the simple hug. This was a shame, for I believe I would be a better person now, if I had. Such a simple thing really, but can give both huggers so much comfort and love…
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I’m sorry to hear this, but I think what we both experienced is not so uncommon. The world definitely needs more huggers 🤗
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Desperately!
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❤️
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Reblogged this on OPENED HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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The last line is itself a wonderful poem. Thats a very interesting topic, and i agree with you in all points. Thanks for mentioning this, Alethea! Have a nice week! xx Michael
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Thank you, Michael. I appreciate your comments and sharing my words. 🤗
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We have always been a very huggee family and I’m so glad for that. I love hubby’s bear hugs. For 18 months he was the only person I could hug so we made the most of it. Going back to Canada to see my family after 2 years, I just couldn’t get enough hugs. So I am sending you a great big bear hug all the way from Spain. xo
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Thank you, Darlene! A big hug to you too! So glad you got the family hugs after missing them for 2 years. 🤗
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